i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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