I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize