My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
