Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my liver is dry heaving
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
