Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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