So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
even my farts smell like vagina
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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