some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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