i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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