so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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