Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
