you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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