I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I deserve this hangover.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
