Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
