Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize