I think scott just propositioned me for sex
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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