They should really pass out barf bags in church
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
