Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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