is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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