I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize