I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
