It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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