The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Drunk is not a location!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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