That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
