Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
