This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
