The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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