I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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