i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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