he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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