this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize