I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
