don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
