Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize