He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize