2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
This is not my ceiling
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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