totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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