I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
