She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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