they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize