remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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