just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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