I wannas sexs uuuuu
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
