Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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