Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
