Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She announced her abortion via fbk
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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