when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ok first of all what the fuck
He has the fingertips of a God
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
