They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
