I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
