so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
