Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
