BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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