Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
