We need to rekindle our bromance
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
