we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
