Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
