i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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