just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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