At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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