quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
