Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
