I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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