the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
