i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
