did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
