Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
