So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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