The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize