Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
