apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
