just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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