So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize