his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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