"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
