Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
