You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
