Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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