You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pants are for mortals
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
