I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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