I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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