i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
