she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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