So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize